Chapter 25: The Demoness and the Aloof Buddhist Monk (11)

Fear, this was his greatest ordeal in this life.

It was another night, and Fan Sijin leaped into the lake to bathe as usual, her long, soft hair spreading out in the water like seaweed. Kong Xuan remained sitting with his back to her, chanting scriptures. Today, however, he felt increasingly restless; no matter how many times he recited the sutras, he could not calm his mind.

Once he managed to steady his emotions, he realized that it had been a long time since Fan Sijin had made any sound.

"Little benefactor?"

There was no response.

The tranquil surface of the lake was silent. Kong Xuan opened his eyes abruptly and turned to look, only to find the shimmering water empty—Fan Sijin had vanished!

Startled, he rushed to the edge of the lake, peering about. Before he could even attempt a rescue, the water suddenly broke. A thin filament, glinting brilliantly under the moonlight, whipped out and coiled around his wrist, dragging him straight to the bottom of the lake.

With his inner energy sealed, Kong Xuan possessed only the strength of an ordinary man. How could he resist such a pull? With a loud splash, he was plunged rapidly into the depths.

At the bottom of the lake, he saw her.

Her jade-like arms and legs were exposed, clad only in simple garments, her pitch-black hair drifting in the water. Moonlight pierced the surface, illuminating the lake floor with such clarity that Kong Xuan’s heart skipped a beat.

She reached out and took his hand. Kong Xuan seemed to forget the boundaries between man and woman. He did not know how he was able to open his eyes or breathe underwater, but the moment she held his hand, his heart—usually as still as an ancient well—began to ripple as if brought to a boil.

Fan Sijin gestured forward, signaling him to look.

Kong Xuan followed her gaze. Schools of fish darted by, water weeds danced, and the moonlight seemed to transform into sprites, merging with the clear water. It was such a beautiful world; every blade of grass, every tree, and every drop of water was a vast universe in itself.

Kong Xuan had never been beneath the water before. He had never imagined it could be so beautiful. This beauty—so serene and peaceful, yet brimming with vitality—left him deeply shaken.

Fan Sijin understood Kong Xuan's Buddha-nature and his heart. She knew that if given the right conditions, he would naturally attain enlightenment and reach a higher state of being.

She turned nimbly in the water like a mermaid. Kong Xuan watched in a trance as she swam among the fish, moving in harmony with them. Animals do not ponder the complexities of life; they live simply to survive, living openly, dying openly, and pursuing everything with transparency. In this expanse of water, she seemed to meld with the very essence of existence.

***

He did not know how long he had stayed at the bottom of the lake. When Kong Xuan was pushed back to the surface, his clothes clung to his body, wet and heavy. His handsome face, framed by picturesque features, appeared distant and solemn under the moonlight.

Fan Sijin emerged from the water, her long hair casting a beautiful arc as droplets flew. She studied the expression of this "Son of Buddha," whose heart was usually as unruffled as an ancient well, dedicated solely to the salvation of all living beings.

Kong Xuan sat cross-legged on the bank, pressed his palms together, and chanted, "Amitabha."

Fan Sijin raised an eyebrow, grabbed her clothes, and draped them over herself. A string of bells remained tied to her ankle, chiming melodiously with her every movement.

She walked barefoot to Kong Xuan, leaned over, and called out, "Monk."

Kong Xuan’s eyes were slightly closed. Curiously, even in his bedraggled, water-soaked state, his expression remained full of compassion.

Fan Sijin watched him for a while, found it uninteresting, and turned to walk toward the bamboo house. Just then, Kong Xuan spoke softly behind her: "I love you."

He did not refer to himself as "this poor monk," nor did he call her "little benefactor." It was simply "I" and "you."

Fan Sijin’s lifted foot paused. She had wanted to help him achieve Buddhahood, to let him experience the myriad wonders of the world, which was why she had pulled him into the water. She had not expected that what he would realize was... the way of man and woman.

Under the bright moonlight, Fan Sijin did not turn back, and Kong Xuan did not care whether she turned or how she might respond to his feelings.

He only sought to be true to his own heart and to the Buddha.

"As I have heard: the heart is like the Bodhi tree, and only then can one gather the dust. I have attained enlightenment, and my conscience is clear."

"Even if you love me, a demoness?" Fan Sijin turned, tilting her head to look at him. Under the moonlight, Kong Xuan appeared exceptionally sacred and solemn; even his confession felt like a session of Zen meditation.

"Before my master passed away, he told me that only by experiencing the world and witnessing its suffering could I truly save all beings and reach the ultimate fruit. Yet, I had always resisted the matters of love between men and women. Whether it was Tan Qin or the moonlight, I felt no love, no worry, no concern, and no fear for them. I once thought this was my destiny, but I never expected that you would be my Path."

"..." Fan Sijin was momentarily speechless. It was as if she could see the radiant light of the Buddha emanating from him.

So sincere, so subjective, so devout—he was a high monk by nature. It was no wonder he was the Son of Buddha.

"And what if I don't love you back?" Fan Sijin raised an eyebrow.

"I will have no regrets." Having entered the gate of emotion, it was his own affair. If there were no love in his heart, how could he love others? Kong Xuan could not fully articulate what he had gained beneath the water, but the moment he surfaced, he had truly understood that he must face his own heart squarely, and accept it with equanimity.

He loved her; whether she loved him back was not important. He did not seek a return. He had spent his life seeking the Path, and now, Fan Sijin was his Path.

Fan Sijin found it difficult to understand. She had traversed so many worlds and encountered many monks. Usually, when a monk realized he had fallen in love, he would either deny it or struggle to suppress it. Yet, Kong Xuan spoke with such candor, remaining calm and detached regardless of her reaction.

Perhaps... this was why his Buddha-nature was higher than anyone else's.

Fan Sijin suddenly felt a desire to tease him. Who had ever heard a confession of love delivered with such indifference, as if he were discussing the weather?

She dropped the clothes in her hands, remaining in her simple attire, her long hair flowing, and walked toward Kong Xuan.

Kong Xuan must have encountered such situations before—Tan Qin had certainly tried—but to him, a breathtaking beauty in fine robes was no different than a blade of grass or a stone by the roadside.

All things have spirit. He did not favor humans over others, nor did he look down upon the myriad creatures of the world.

He was as free as the high mountains and the vast seas.

Fan Sijin deliberately squatted before him and reached out to touch his smooth, shaven head, where the incense scars felt slightly uneven. She tapped them lightly with her finger and asked, "If I were to love you back, would you return to secular life for me? Marry me and be together for a lifetime? Would you stop being a monk? Would you give up saving all living beings?"

"I will still save all living beings, yet I will also love you." Kong Xuan uttered these words and then fell silent, closing his eyes to meditate. He did not even seem to mind his wet, clinging clothes.

It was faint yet firm. Fan Sijin could not describe the feeling in her heart. She stood up and walked toward the bamboo house.